Inner Coach

Today, I am thinking about the voice in the head that guides you in your reflections on what to do with your life. Let us call it your internal coach.

Such a coach is often the voice of your parents.

On the humorous side, on this Mother's Day, we remember the things our mamas taught us. They were not only the voices in our heads, but around the kitchen table, the living room, just about everywhere.

- My mama taught me to appreciate a job well done: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside; I just finished cleaning."

- My mama taught me religion: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

- My mama taught me time travel: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

- My mama taught me logic: "Because I said so, that's why."

- My mama taught me irony: "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

- My mama taught me osmosis: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

- My mama taught me contortionism: "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

- My mama taught me stamina: "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

- My mama taught me about weather: It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

- My mama taught me about the circle of life: "I brought you into this world and I can take you out."

- My mama taught me about behavior modification: "Stop acting like your father!"

- My mama taught me about genetics: "You're just like your father."

- My mama taught me about envy: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

- My mama taught me about anticipation: "Just wait until you get home."

- My mama taught me wisdom: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

            Sometimes, the voice might tell you other things, and they may not come from parents.

Guy hears a voice in his head. It says, "Sell all your stuff and go to Las Vegas."

So he does. He sells his car, his house, his boat ... everything.

He takes his money and buys a plane ticket. Goes to Vegas. He gets off the plane and the voice in his head says, "Go to Caesars Palace and go to the roulette table."

So he does. He goes to Caesars Palace and gets to the roulette table. The voice says, "Put all your money on Black Nine."

And he does. The wheel spins, and the ball stops on Red 10.

The voice in his head says, "Oops."

That's right. Oops.

There are many reasons -- some disturbing and unfortunate -- when people hear voices in their heads, and when people listen and act on those voices, the outcome can be a mess.

However, how about what Julie Bell calls a coaching voice in your head?

That is a different story.

Bell is a sports psychologist who claims she can help you hear your inner coach. "That coaching voice in your head sets you up to do your best," she says. Bell is the founder of the Mind of a Champion, a Dallas-based coaching firm.

She has found that some people have a strong coaching voice that sets them up well, while others need help. Bell's clients range from church teams to State Farm, and from a pro angler to the vice presidents of several Fortune 500 companies.

We need to protect this voice.

There is a Native American parable that says conscience is a three-sided stone with very sharp edges. It resides within the human heart. Every time people violate the dictates of conscience, the stone spins and causes them pain.

Something happens to those who ignore that nagging pain of that inner coach over the course of many years. Eventually, the stone's edges begin to dull from that incessant spinning. Eventually, the host individuals lose the ability to feel the stone as it spins. When that occurs, these people who have lost touch with their conscience achieve for the first time a superficial sort of "peace."

The story is told of the late Fred Rogers (of 'Mister Rogers' fame), a Presbyterian pastor, that he was addressing the National Press Club. He said that he knew that the room was filled with many of the nation's best reporters -- men and women who had achieved much in their lives. Rogers took out his pocket watch and announced that he was going to keep two minutes of silence. He invited everybody in the room to remember the people from their past --parents, teachers, coaches, friends and others -- who had made it possible for them to reach this point. As the seconds ticked away, he could hear, all around the room, people sniffling as they were moved by the memories of those, coaches if you will, who had made sacrifices on their behalf and who had given them countless gifts, the voice of wisdom and encouragement. The same could be said for our own journeys of faith.