Regrets

When my sons wanted to treat me to a Father’s Day I would not forget, they took advantage of my love for the Beatles. They took me to the concert of Paul McCartney that was in Indianapolis in the summer of 2013. We discussed much about the band. They knew every song. They reminded me of Pete Best, the drummer for the group until, before the first recording, the producer said they needed to record with a different drummer. I read a little about him. He went into depression for a while. Something about his style was not quite loud enough. He did not socialize with John, Paul, or George very much.

I wonder if he had regrets, given the way things played out.

Ron Wayne was one of the founders of Apple, along with Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak. He helped to steer the computer company in its early days, and had a hand in designing the famous Apple logo. Wayne owned 10 percent of the company, while Jobs and Wozniak each owned 45 percent. However, Wayne decided to hand back his stake, fearing that he would be liable for a portion of a $15,000 loan if the company went under.

Apple succeeded, of course, and if Wayne had held on to his stake, it would now be worth more than $37 billion.

Does he have any regrets?

Surprisingly, no. "I made my decision on the information I had at the time," he tells James Thomson of SmartCompany. "I've got my health, my family and integrity -- and that is the best fortune you could ask for."

Do you believe him? Thirty-seven BILLION dollars -- and NO regrets? Hmmm.

Regret. It usually occurs when something wrong happens which you cannot fix. Webster's Dictionary defines it as grief caused by the want or loss of something formerly possessed. Leigh Harris put it this way:

 

I believe regret goes even deeper than that. It is grief from the loss of something because you made a mistake. If you lose something, yet did everything right, you might feel anger, sadness or frustration, but you won't feel regret.[1]

 

The following lyrics appear in the song, "My Way," popularized by Frank Sinatra:

 

"Regrets, I've had a few/

But then again, too few to mention/

I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption/

I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway/

And more, much more than this, I did it my way."

 

Paul Anka wrote the lyrics, and many singers recorded the song, including Elvis, Tom Jones, Andy Williams and Anka himself.

Do you feel this way about any part of your life?

The popular move The Bucket List (2007) stars Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. At one point, the two of them talk about the two questions to ask regarding your life. Are you happy? Have you made other people happy?

None of us is perfect, and we will all come to the end of life feeling that we have made mistakes along the way. There are choices we feel badly about, alongside opportunities we wish we had seized. However, what would it mean for us to die with no big regrets?

Yes, I have my regrets. Some are about mistakes I wish I had not made. Some regard a dream that I have not yet fulfilled.

One thing I am doing about my regrets is to put them into two categories. One involves the things I cannot change. These regrets I am simply turning over to God. A second category involves the things I can change. I commit myself to begin changing my patterns today so that I do not end my life with that regret hanging over me.

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[1] Leigh Harris, "How to deal with regret," Think Simple Now Website, thinksimplenow.com. Retrieved April 19, 2013.

Lesson on Commitment From Unusual Sources

Sometimes, I have been amazed the lengths to which people will go to get through life by dishonest means. One of the first times I remember thinking about this was when I was an associate pastor at Meridian Street UMC. We had a substantial amount of aid we could give to people who were in need. It was enough that people made appointments with me. We had certain rules, of course. Sometimes, it felt like we were  really helping a person or family over a rough spot. Too often, however, people had quite clever stories. After a few questions, I could tell that they had learned the ropes in Indianapolis of how to get money out of every organization they could. They were crafty. They had a certain type of ingenuity. I wondered how much time they spent on developing their story. I also wondered what would happen in their lives if they would direct all that ingenuity and creativity toward something productive and that met a need in the lives of others.

Yes, people can be creative, crafty, and ingenious, when it serves their purposes.

One of baseball’s great players  —  a contender in the home-run record sweepstakes, the Chicago Cubs’ Sammy Sosa  —  had hit over 500 career home runs when he broke his bat during a game on June 2, 2003. According to Sports Illustrated (June 10, 2003), the bat had been drilled out to make it lighter, and filled with cork to muffle the hollow sound when bat connected with ball.  Sosa called the incident a misunderstanding, claiming that he had “accidentally” grabbed a corked bat that he used during practice.

I am not sure if what Sammy said was true. I would have to trust some of my baseball friends on that one. However, it has the appearance of being crafty.

I hope this story brings a little smile.

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The job interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks, “What does two plus two equal?” The mathematician replies, “Four.” The interviewer asks, “Four exactly?” The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says, “Yes, four exactly.” Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question: “What does two plus two equal?” The accountant says, “On average, four — give or take 10 percent — but on average, four.”

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question: “What does two plus two equal?” The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer, and says, “What do you want it to equal?”

            Here is another story to bring a smile.

Two accountants are in a bank when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line up the customers, including the accountants, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on, the first accountant jams something into the second accountant’s hand. Without looking down, the second accountant whispers, “What is this?” The first accountant replies, “It’s that $50 I owe you.

I am not suggesting that Christians should admire what they did. However, I wonder if we who would like to make a difference in the world for good could learn something from such folks. They have made a decision regarding what was important to them. They have committed themselves fully to it. They are willing to spend much thought and energy toward doing what they are doing to get ahead.

What if we were willing to be every bit as decisive, crafty, ingenious, and focused as they are, but on doing what is right and good?

You might want to read Luke 16:1-13 as some background on this reflection.