Regrets

When my sons wanted to treat me to a Father’s Day I would not forget, they took advantage of my love for the Beatles. They took me to the concert of Paul McCartney that was in Indianapolis in the summer of 2013. We discussed much about the band. They knew every song. They reminded me of Pete Best, the drummer for the group until, before the first recording, the producer said they needed to record with a different drummer. I read a little about him. He went into depression for a while. Something about his style was not quite loud enough. He did not socialize with John, Paul, or George very much.

I wonder if he had regrets, given the way things played out.

Ron Wayne was one of the founders of Apple, along with Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak. He helped to steer the computer company in its early days, and had a hand in designing the famous Apple logo. Wayne owned 10 percent of the company, while Jobs and Wozniak each owned 45 percent. However, Wayne decided to hand back his stake, fearing that he would be liable for a portion of a $15,000 loan if the company went under.

Apple succeeded, of course, and if Wayne had held on to his stake, it would now be worth more than $37 billion.

Does he have any regrets?

Surprisingly, no. "I made my decision on the information I had at the time," he tells James Thomson of SmartCompany. "I've got my health, my family and integrity -- and that is the best fortune you could ask for."

Do you believe him? Thirty-seven BILLION dollars -- and NO regrets? Hmmm.

Regret. It usually occurs when something wrong happens which you cannot fix. Webster's Dictionary defines it as grief caused by the want or loss of something formerly possessed. Leigh Harris put it this way:

 

I believe regret goes even deeper than that. It is grief from the loss of something because you made a mistake. If you lose something, yet did everything right, you might feel anger, sadness or frustration, but you won't feel regret.[1]

 

The following lyrics appear in the song, "My Way," popularized by Frank Sinatra:

 

"Regrets, I've had a few/

But then again, too few to mention/

I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption/

I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway/

And more, much more than this, I did it my way."

 

Paul Anka wrote the lyrics, and many singers recorded the song, including Elvis, Tom Jones, Andy Williams and Anka himself.

Do you feel this way about any part of your life?

The popular move The Bucket List (2007) stars Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. At one point, the two of them talk about the two questions to ask regarding your life. Are you happy? Have you made other people happy?

None of us is perfect, and we will all come to the end of life feeling that we have made mistakes along the way. There are choices we feel badly about, alongside opportunities we wish we had seized. However, what would it mean for us to die with no big regrets?

Yes, I have my regrets. Some are about mistakes I wish I had not made. Some regard a dream that I have not yet fulfilled.

One thing I am doing about my regrets is to put them into two categories. One involves the things I cannot change. These regrets I am simply turning over to God. A second category involves the things I can change. I commit myself to begin changing my patterns today so that I do not end my life with that regret hanging over me.

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[1] Leigh Harris, "How to deal with regret," Think Simple Now Website, thinksimplenow.com. Retrieved April 19, 2013.