Sexual Sin in America: Nothing New

$1,877,442,835. This is the amount of money, almost $2 billion, that was paid by the Catholic church between 1950 and 2008 to settle with victims of abuse, including treatment for victims and attorney fees. The actual amount is probably more. According to some reports, "Catholic priests who have been accused of sexual abuse number between 5,700 and 10,000, but because of restrictive statutes of limitations, only a few hundred have been tried, convicted and sentenced for their crimes."

In our society, we use the word "adult" in odd ways. We take a store where X-rated videos and magazines are sold and we call it an "adult" store. We have Web sites where people are shown breaking the commandment regarding adultery in multiple ways, and we say those are "adult" sites. Well, yes, we do not want children there, but if they do find their way to such a store or site, we would not want to tell children that what they are seeing is mature behavior or the way grown-ups should relate to others. The seventh commandment tells us not to break the rules of being an adult.

A woman whose husband said she committed adultery by writing steamy computer messages will sue him for defamation and invasion of privacy, her lawyer said Tuesday. The husband has already filed for divorce. Diane Goydan also claims extreme cruelty in the couple's deteriorating eight-year marriage, and says John Goydan violated state wiretap laws by retrieving her e-mail, said lawyer Thomas M. McCormack. He described her exchanges with a North Carolina man whose online name was "The Weasel" as "romantic" and "daydreams." Mrs. Goydan did not commit adultery because she never had sex with "The Weasel," he said. "It is ludicrous to characterize this dialogue ... as adulterous," McCormack told reporters at a news conference. "My client is devastated by the allegation of adultery, which I believe is without basis in law or fact. "Dozens of the exchanges - some sexually explicit - were described in John Goydan's January 23 divorce lawsuit, which also accuses Mrs. Goydan of extreme cruelty and seeks custody of their 7-year-old daughter and 3-year-old son. Goydan said in court papers that he learned about the cyber-romance by reading his wife's electronic mail. McCormack said Mrs. Goydan never shared her password with anyone and said the messages could not be retrieved without the password. Furthermore, the online account is in her name, he said. The marriage failed, McCormack said, because "he became distant and removed from her, which may have led to her going online."[1]

More Americans than you might think are practicing what is commonly known as polygamy, but what adherents prefer to call "polyamory": loving more than one person simultaneously and - this is crucial - openly. No one has taken a survey on polyamory, but as with many fringe movements, it has grown on the Web. "Ten years ago, there were maybe three support groups for polies," says Brett Hill, who helps run a magazine (circulation 10,000), a Web site (1,000 hits a month) and two annual conferences for an organization called Loving More. Today there are perhaps 250 polyamory support groups, mostly on the Internet, but some that meet for potluck suppers. Sure, most of them are in such expected precincts as Boston and Los Angeles, but there are also outposts like KanPoly, where polyamorous residents of Kansas can meet others like themselves and even download a "poly pride flag."[2]

 

Here is another example, broadening out from sexual sin. Dan Savage is an agenda driven writer for his self-styled Leftist views. He went on a crusade against virtue a few years ago. His stated purpose, as preparation for his new book, was to travel across the country and find the best places where he could commit the seven deadly sins. He thinks someone needs to stick up for the sinners, is the way he put it. He is a syndicated sex columnist (“Savage Love,” not a column we recommend), has written a most unusual book, one that you will not want to use as a source of bedtime stories for your children or grandchildren. Skipping Towards Gomorrah: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Pursuit of Happiness in America contains the stories of a number of average American citizens as they gleefully commit each of the Seven Deadly Sins — lust, greed, gluttony, sloth, anger, envy and pride. Savage discovered that it was rather easy to find these sinners. In fact, he found that they were very conventional in their sinning — conventional in the sense that they seem to enjoy gathering with large numbers of like-minded souls in conventions devoted to their favorite sins.

            Savage took part in a lust convention by attending a gathering of 6,000 wife-swappers. Gluttony was seen at a convention of hundreds of overeating members of the National Association for the Advancement of Fat Acceptance. For his chapter on greed, Savage watched mobs of avid gamblers frolicking in Las Vegas. For an exposé on anger, he joined gun fans as they blasted away in Texas.

            “It’s amazing,” Savage told The Washington Post. “If you spent any time sinning in America, you spend a lot of time at conventions.” He said that the 42 American guys who like to have intimate relations while dressed up as stuffed animals have managed to find each other over the Internet. “And now they have conventions, too.”

            We have been to Sodom; we are on our way to Gomorrah.

Of course, as Pastor Bill Perkins put it, “If you think you can’t fall into sexual sin, then you’re godlier than David, stronger than Samson and wiser than Solomon.”[3] We also need to be careful how we respond to what is happening in the culture. When asked by a reporter whether he thinks young women today are too promiscuous, Vice President Al Gore responded, “I just have no firsthand experience.[4] 

Here is a reminder from Augustine that such concerns are not new. 

I want Christian wives to be jealous wives. I say this with all emphasis. I order it. I command it. Your bishop commands it. And Christ commands it through me. Yes, I say this and command it to you. Do not suffer it if your husbands make themselves guilty of unchastity. Appeal against them to the church. In all other things be subject to your husbands, but where this matter is concerned, defend your cause.[5] 

Blondie and Dagwood are watching television. Dagwood remarks, "Boy, there sure is a lot of nudity on TV lately!" "I'll say," replies Blondie. They continue to stare at the TV, eyes wide open. Says Dagwood, "Darnedest tire commercial I've ever seen."[6]

            How did we get ourselves into this mess?

How do we deal with the mess?

Here is one story. 

Egad, that Vlad! After overthrowing his half brother to take the Russian throne, the 43-year-old monarch was "at the top of his career" in Kiev Rus, says Per-Arne Bodin, professor of Slavic languages at the University of Stockholm. So effective was Vlad, the illegitimate son of a slave and Prince Sviatoslav, at unifying western Russia that his subjects happily overlooked his drinking, five wives and 800 concubines. "He just couldn't get enough of women," says Professor Jonas Granberg of Sweden's University of Goteborg. That is, until 988, when Vlad set his eye on the legendary beauty Anna, sister of Byzantine Emperor Basil II. To permit their marriage, Basil demanded that the pagan Vlad convert to Christianity. After that, until his death in 1015, the once-ragin' Russian lived a life so exemplary - and monogamous - that in the 1300s the Russian Orthodox Church awarded him sainthood.[7] 

King David's behavior in II Samuel 11:1-15 was destructive -- on many levels.

I am convinced that many people are going down this path of view virtue as confinement or a prison. Virtue limits our freedom, and we Americans cherish our freedom. I am also convinced that the New Testament is quite right to teach us that sin is our real prison from which we need liberation. Reflect again on the pain and hurt caused in engaging in the sins listed here. It sounds fun and freeing, at one level. Yet, we should learn from the experience of David by using whatever influence we have to lift people up, to heal them rather than hurt them.

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[1] -Associated Press, February 7, 1996, Roseland, New Jersey.

[2] -John Cloud, "Henry & Mary & Janet & ..." Time, November 15, 1999.

[3] —Pastor Bill Perkins, quoted in Leadership, Winter 2001, 89.

[4] Cited by Newsweek, January 24, 2000, 17.

[5] -St. Augustine, Sermon 392.

[6] -Young & Drake, "Blondie," The Washington Post, January 28, 2000, C12.

[7] -"The 9 most intriguing people of 999," People Magazine, December 31, 1999, 196.