Life is not DIY

Shadow work.

The example I think of is the first Back to the Future movie. When Marty goes back to the 1950s, among the first things he sees is a car pull up to the gas station, and five people come out to pump the gas, check the tires, wash the windshield, and collect the money. Marty, who has only known self-service, offered a quizzical look. I could get a little nostalgic about full service gas stations, especially on cold winter days. It was nice to pull up to the gas pump and have someone else do it all. You simply rolled down the window, told them what you wanted, and payed them. Today, of course, instead of all those people serving us, we get out of the car, pump the gas, and if anything else needs checking we do it.

Craig Lambert, Shadow Work: The Unpaid, Unseen Jobs That Fill Your Day, is the person getting me to reflect upon such matters. We are now checking ourselves out of the supermarket and depositing/withdrawing at ATM machines or over the smart phone. We can go on the Internet and solve many things that might have in the past concerned us, taken up time, and cost money.

Many of the things to which Mr. Lambert refers save us time. Doing it ourselves is also a way of making us feel empowered, when we are able to do what we thought only others could do for us. In fact, I vaguely recall pulling into a gas station when we had the option of a full service island or a self-service island. I am not much for mechanical things, so it was a little scary to me to do self-service, but saving the money was nice. At first, I had to pause and give it much thought, making sure I pushed the buttons in the right sequence.

However, the entire “do it yourself’ trend in our culture can lead to a spiritual dark side.

For example, it may make us feel exhausted, as we disburse our energies in so many different directions. We might think of the story of Martha in Luke 10:38-42. The busyness of the business of our culture can distract us. The urgent and the trivial can so easily take over our time. We need to learn to focus upon what is important and valuable. Asking that question leads into the realm of spirituality and discipleship.

My primary concern is the isolation that can happen as we busily engage doing it ourselves. As wonderful as the Internet can be, we cannot learn about following Jesus by staring at a screen. We may become skilled in do it yourself projects (I am not; my wife is), but discipleship is not something you do simply on your own. Learning to follow Jesus was not a do it yourself project for the first disciples, and it is not for us today.

Paul writes about the importance of the community in discipleship in I Corinthians 12-14. Each of us is part of a single body, with something to contribute to the whole and to receive from the whole. We need to see ourselves as the body of Christ in this world! He also wrote about the diversity of spiritual gifts that derive from the same Spirit. We need to strive for the greater gifts and choose the “more excellent way.” The Spirit works in and through each part of the Body of Christ, bringing greater identity with Christ and the maturing of our love. “Love never ends.” True, faith, hope and love will abide, but the greatest of even these is love.

 

The most important “shadow work” we do may not be the do it yourself variety at all. It may well be the shadow work of worshipping, learning, and serving that nourish the things that matter in our lives. Doing it yourself is fine, of course. Yet, we must not miss one of the most meaningful and purposeful aspects of our lives. Life is not a do it yourself project. A large part of our life project is recognizing our need for others instead of insisting that we can do it ourselves.

Prioritizing Time in a DIY Culture

The book that helped me the most with the use of time was 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. He made a distinction between the urgent and the important, the urgent and the important. If something is urgent and important, it justly demands our attention. However, we need to make time for the things that are not urgent, but they are important. He would use an example like reading a good book. Not urgent, but you have identified it as important. He also stressed that most of us find it easy to let the trivial and unimportant consume our use of time.

I thought of such helpful distinctions as I came across a reference to some new images that might help us reflect upon our use of time.

Shadow work.

Pumping our own gas. Assembling our own furniture. Booking our own travel.

In years past, other people used to do this work for pay. But now we do it ourselves, for free.

Craig Lambert has written a book called Shadow Work: The Unpaid, UnseenJobs That Fill Your Day. Clearly, these efforts take time. Lots of time.

He explains shadow work as new duties at our offices, which are constantly being downsized. At home, we go to the Internet for guidance on our medical problems. Of course, this can be dangerous. Self-diagnosis can be a dangerous thing, simply because we do not see ourselves very clearly. A doctor, when it comes accurate diagnosis, is usually far better. Of course, even that can be difficult. We spend countless hours coordinating our kids' extracurricular activities. Over the past two decades, as technology has taken off, new tasks have been crammed into our already full to-do lists.

Generally, I think this “do it yourself” approach empowers us. Personally, I avoid such projects if they involve anything approaching mechanical stuff around the house. Suzanne, if so inclined, will likely get it right. I have a couple of step-sons who would likely get it right. It would likely be a waste of time for me. Yet, we do much for free ourselves that we used to pay others to do. He thinks, however, that this expansion of our “to do” list is to our detriment. In addition, we are doing what someone used to receive pay to do. Nevertheless, Lambert urges us to look at the consequences of all this "shadow work" or self-service. "Shadow work makes us not just busier, but exhausted and isolated," writes Ann Hulbert in a review of Lambert's book. We are interacting more with our screens than with other humans, and we are doing it at unreasonable hours.  

"You don't have to share his mounting alarm, or his nostalgia for gas-pump jockeys, to avail yourself of his very useful lens. Before you can hope to rebalance your time, you'd better first understand how you actually spend it."  

Well, I think he forgets how much time people used to spend on such tasks as banking. You had to be present at a particular time, stand in line, and have a clerk look at your bank registry. Going to the ATM is shadow work, but when compared to the past, saves us much time that we can now invest in other ways. One problem with his insight is that what he calls shadow work most of us would call modern convenience.

Yet, his reflections ought to raise the question of how we are actually spending our time.

A lot of it is devoted to shadow work.

            It reminds me of the emphasis when I was young about leisure time and labor-saving devices. The problem would be adjusting to the increased time off. Are you having trouble adjusting to your increased time off? Most Americans are not. The pressure is on the immediate. We focus upon what can satisfy us now. Time becomes our enemy. We fight against it. We need to befriend time. We can do that by understanding that happiness, joy, and meaning in life are a long-term project. Frankly, we need to think more about the end of life than most of us do. What do you want family and friends to say about at the end? Begin living that way today.

Elizabeth Grace Saunders has written an article in the Harvard Business Review with the title: "Are you proud of how you're spending your time?" She urges us to stop doing what seems to be most urgent, and "start intentionally investing in what's most important."

There is a difference between what is most urgent and what is most important. Relationships are important. People do relate on social media and email. Yet, answering that email, for example, is really not as important as attending your child's soccer game. Saunders wants us to pay attention to what we are doing with our time, do not let others steal our time, prioritize family and friends, take vacations, develop physically healthy habits in eating and exercise, refuse to waste time to save money, and know yourself. 

"In my experience it's so easy to lose track of who you are, what you enjoy, where you are in life and where you're going, unless you purposely and intentionally take time to reflect." 

Now, just to add a thought at the end of this little reflection, the danger is that all this focus on doing it yourself, as empowering as it can be, can lead to a spiritual problem. You see, if we do not balance doing it ourselves with the work of community, we will miss one of the most meaningful and purposeful aspects of our lives.

            However, to make this move, we will need to recognize our need for others instead of insisting that we can do it ourselves. 

The theological perspective is that this busyness of the business of modern life draws us into the world of Martha and away from sitting at the feet of Jesus. We are being called to distraction, and the quiet, still voice of God goes unnoticed -- unnoticed in the flood of ever new links to follow, unnoticed in the hectic pace of modern life, unnoticed in the flood of events, information and distractions.[1]

 

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[1]  --Ernesto Tinajero, "Is Google making us ignore God?" Sojourners "God's Politics" blog, June 7, 2010. sojo.net/articles/google-making-us-ignore-god. Retrieved August 4, 2015.