Choose Happiness

Recently, I came across this list of things to do if you want to choose happiness. A friend shared with me the source of this as Chiara Fucarino.

There are two types of people in the world: those who choose to be happy, and those who choose to be unhappy. Contrary to popular belief, happiness does not come from fame, fortune, other people, or material possessions. Rather, it comes from within. The richest person in the world could be miserable while a homeless person could be right outside, smiling and content with their life. Happy people are happy because they make themselves happy. They maintain a positive outlook on life and remain at peace with themselves.

 

The question is: how do they do that?

 

It’s quite simple. Happy people have good habits that enhance their lives. They do things differently. Ask any happy person, and they will tell you that they …

 

1. Don’t hold grudges.

 

Happy people understand that it’s better to forgive and forget than to let their negative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your wellbeing, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let go of all your grudges, you’ll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to enjoy the good things in life.

 

2. Treat everyone with kindness.

 

Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.

 

3. See problems as challenges.

 

The word “problem” is never part of a happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.

 

4. Express gratitude for what they already have.

 

There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don’t have.

 

5. Dream big.

 

People who get into the habit of dreaming big are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don’t. If you dare to dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state.

 

6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

 

Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.

 

7. Speak well of others.

 

Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.

 

8. Never make excuses.

 

Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.

 

9. Get absorbed into the present.

 

Happy people don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they’re doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses.

 

10. Wake up at the same time every morning.

 

Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered state.

 

11. Avoid social comparison.

 

Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.

 

12. Choose friends wisely.

 

Misery loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.

 

13. Never seek approval from others.

 

Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own.

 

14. Take the time to listen.

 

Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others’ wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.

 

15. Nurture social relationships.

 

A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.

 

16. Meditate.

 

Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves.

 

17. Eat well.

 

Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape.

 

18. Exercise.

 

Studies have shown that exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft does. Exercising also boosts your self-esteem and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment.

 

19. Live minimally.

 

Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items.

 

20. Tell the truth.

 

Lying stresses you out, corrodes your self-esteem, and makes you unlikeable. The truth will set you free. Being honest improves your mental health and builds others’ trust in you. Always be truthful, and never apologize for it.

 

21. Establish personal control.

 

Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don’t let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one’s own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth.

 

22. Accept what cannot be changed.

 

Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you’ll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better.

"Moderate" Islam in Middle East

I share this from Mona Charen.
The Facebook page of Mahmoud Abbas's Fatah (the Palestinian Authority) lauded the anniversary of the "martyrdom" of Ahmed Masharqa. He is described as "Hero of the Kedumim settlement operation who answered the call of justice and the shout of duty when the land called to him." Translation: In 2006, Masharqa disguised himself as a religious Jew, strapped a suicide belt under his clothes and crossed the border to an Israeli village. When an Israeli family offered him a ride, he blew himself up inside the car. Or, as Fatah has it, "He caused the deaths of five Zionists and wounded many." Keep in mind Abbas is a "moderate" in the Middle East context.

By an overwhelming majority (110 of 120), the Jordanian parliament has called for the release of a former soldier who is serving time for the murder of seven Israeli schoolgirls in 1997. The students had traveled to the ironically named "Island of Peace," a manmade island that lies on the Jordan/Israel border and has been made into a park. The island was developed by Israel, but as part of a peace agreement with the late King Hussein, Israel ceded it to Jordan. On March 13, 1997, a group of 13- and 14-year-old Israeli girls was visiting when one of the Jordanian soldiers opened fire on them, killing seven and wounding many others. The death toll would have been even higher if Ahmed Daqamseh's gun hadn't jammed. At the time, King Hussein traveled to the girls' hometown to express condolences and beg forgiveness on behalf of his country. But that was then. Hussein Mjali, Daqamseh's defense lawyer, has since become Minister of Justice in Jordan. In 2011, he described the unrepentant Daqamseh as a "hero" who should never have been imprisoned, and a huge majority of Jordan's parliament agrees.

Personal Reflections on Prom, Graduation, and Graduation

I am thinking about prom, high school graduation, and confirmation today. I am especially thinking of their cost.

I attended Austin High School in Austin, MN.

Here is my graduation picture.

Here is the school fight song:

 

Fight, Fight, Fight for Old Austin High

We're gonna win this victory

Win, Win, Win for Old Austin High

Winners we'll always be

Rah, Rah, Rah!

Go, Go, Go for Scarlet and White

Our colors stand for might

Waving to those courageous and bold

so, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!

A...U...S...TIN!

 

If you look at a map, you will see Albert Lea just a few miles away, and it was our main Big Nine conference rivals. I tried out for a football once, and lasted one practice. For some reason, I did not try out for baseball, but thoroughly enjoyed the summer leagues. In any case, involvement in school activities was not a strength of mine. My involvement in the Young Democrats led me to participate in a march against the Vietnam War. I gave a brief talk against our involvement at a meeting in the basement of a church, I think.

I received Cs and Bs until grade 9, and finally got an A in Algebra, the last good math grade I received. Grades 11 and 12 were As and Bs. I graduated `122 out of 557 with a 2.8 average. My IQ tested 102 in grade 9.

In some ways, such thoughts are difficult for me. I think I went to a High School dance, but I do not remember it well. I think I worked up the courage to ask a girl to dance, but I have a fuzzy memory of it all. I do not recall going to the prom. I vaguely remember wanting to go, but too afraid to show up alone. Not many dates for me.

I wish I could say that I was passionate about something, but I am not sure I can. I kept wondering what I would do with my life.

For many youth, today, however, prom can be expensive. Slinky dress from Nordstrom: $250. Rented tuxedo with shoes: $150. Stretch limousine for 18: $250 per hour, four-hour minimum. A perfect night at the prom:  Priceless.

Right. Of course, do not forget the flowers, the jewelry, the manicure, the pedicure, the tanning salon, the hair do, the professional photographs, the pre-prom dinner, the post-prom party and the actual tickets to get into the dance.

For youth in Junior High, they can look ahead and see that they should start saving for the big day. I am not sure what the average cost of the prom is today, but a few years ago, it was $1000 per person in some areas of the country.

Even if you do not go to the prom, a night with friends can be expensive. Meeting the gang for pizza and a movie with popcorn and drinks this Saturday night might set you back $50. Real dating involves some serious coin.

Like the prom, high school dating remains a rite of passage for teenagers, but it comes with a cost. Teenagers spend more than $100 billion each year on everything from hamburgers and DVD rentals on an average weekend, to hairdressers and Humvee rentals for prom weekend. Traditional allowances do not begin to cover the costs. Mom and Dad usually pick up the tab.

Yet, this same general period, the 1960s, was also a time that I became involved in a church. Its Sunday school and youth group were important to me. It was I learned about the Bible. It was where I saw Christian parents and adults. I saw something there that I knew I needed in my life. I did not see much Christianity at home, but mom did the best she could in that area. Although we did not have confirmation, I was slowly learning what it meant to be Christian.

It may well be that our confirmands today, now in junior high, are watching the older kids fork out the big bucks. Prom weekend. Road trips. Pizza parties. However, they already know something about this. They have been preparing for months now for their own once-in-a-lifetime, what-we've-all-been-waiting-for experience. We told you it would not be cheap. 

I came to a place where going to church in my youth was not something mom made me do. True, that is the way it was in the beginning. It did not take long, however, when relating to other youth at church and to the adults teaching us became important. I wanted to be there. It meant rising early on Sunday morning. It might being present at youth group Sunday evening, when sometimes I would have liked to rest, watch television (yes, we had television then), or be with some friends.

However, we did not have an experience called “confirmation.”

For some United Methodist youth, since the day of their baptisms - their parents brought them forward as an infant wearing the family christening gown or whether they stood at the font on their own two feet, or the preacher dunked them in the baptistery, swimming pool, lake or river - this is the moment they have been waiting for: confirmation.

Okay, so their parents made them go to confirmation class. Good for them. That only means they already know about self-denial. They wanted to stay home and veg out in front of the TV, but had to go to confirmation class instead.

Their friends spent the lunch period talking about smack-down wrestling on TV, but they missed it because they were out feeding the homeless with your church?

They missed a Saturday night party because they were on a retreat with the youth group.

They wear their "My-parents-made-me-do-it" badge with honor.

However, along the way, something has happened. They have learned that the things that are important, whether prom, hanging out with friends, parties, or even confirmation, usually have a price tag.

I recall some of my classmates enjoying High School fully. They also learned to give themselves fully to something, whether in sports or in academics. They were very good at it. That was another type of cost. They stayed after school, practiced, and worked out. It took me until my third year in college that it would require some sacrifice, some giving of myself to something I valued, before such costs were part of my life. In fact, one of the things I learned, and must continue to learn, is that nothing worthwhile in life is free. A happy life, a joyful life, comes with a cost. You have come to a point of giving yourself fully.

I think that is something of what Jesus meant when he said,

 

"If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 35 For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it. 36 For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life? 37 Indeed, what can they give in return for their life? (Mark 8:34-37) 

            Too many of us think confirmation is just another rite of passage, a photo op, something to make the grandparents happy, a great reason for a party. It is part of growing up when you are a Christian. Here is the problem for our youth. To Jesus, being grown up apparently means denying yourself, taking up your cross, and following him.

            Dare I say this? I am still learning what that means.

What we try to teach in confirmation is that, as valuable as so many things are in this life, the most important thing is to be right with Jesus.

Does this mean you can never spring for a manicure or diamond stud cuff links? Does this mean you cannot follow the latest trends? Such things are compatible with following Christ. However, being a disciple of Christ means than you at least raise the question. We learn that God is not impressed with people who gain the wealth, popularity, power, and influence in the world, while forfeiting what is essential who you are. He called it soul. Do not sacrifice that to the whims of this world.

If confirmation class has taught us nothing but this, it is worth it: What we are inside is more important than who we are on the outside. The riches of the soul are worth more than the wealth of the world. When we learn that, we have learned all there is to know.

Unfortunately, we adults have often failed to provide an example of the genuine costs involved in being a disciple of Jesus Christ, one that bears the cross and denies the self. Children without good role models are at a serious disadvantage. I have seen far too many youth in the church go off to college and turn their backs on their faith. Part of the reason, I think, is that they need to see it operate in the lives of people around them.
 

            What happens after confirmation makes all the difference. Whether adults or adolescents, we must resist the temptation to simply follow the expectations of others and opt instead to live up to the expectations of Jesus the Christ. There is probably no such thing as a free lunch, and Jesus says there is no such thing as a free life. Life costs, especially when it is a life lived with integrity.

Story: Saving Lives, or Not

We’re not sure of the original source of this story, but it bears repeating:

On a dangerous seacoast where shipwrecks often occur, there was once a little lifesaving station. The building was just a hut, and there was only one boat, but the few devoted members kept a constant watch over the sea. With no thought for their safety they went out day and night, tirelessly rescuing the lost. Many lives were saved, so the station became famous.

Some of those who were saved, along with others in the surrounding area, wanted to become associated with the station. They gave of their time, money and effort for the support of its work. New boats were bought, new crews were trained, and the lifesaving station grew.

Some of the members were unhappy that the building was so crude and poorly equipped. They felt a more comfortable place should be provided, so they replaced the emergency cots and beds and put better furniture in a new, larger building.

Now the lifesaving station became a popular gathering place for its members. They decorated it exquisitely because they used it as sort of a club. Fewer members were now interested in going to sea on lifesaving missions, so they hired lifeboat crews to do the work.

The lifesaving motif still prevailed in the club’s decorations, and there was a liturgical lifeboat in the room where club initiations were held. About this time a large ship was wrecked off the coast, and the hired crews brought in loads of cold, wet, half-drowned people. They were dirty and sick. The beautiful new club was considerably messed up. So the property committee immediately had a shower house built outside the club where the shipwreck victims could be cleaned up before coming inside.

At the next meeting there was a split in the club membership. Most of the members wanted to stop the lifesaving activity because they thought it was a hindrance and unpleasant to the normal social life of the club. Some members insisted on lifesaving as their primary purpose and pointed out they were still a lifesaving station after all. They were finally voted down and told that if they wanted to save the lives of various kinds of people shipwrecked in those waters, they could begin their own lifesaving station down the coast, which they did.

As the years went by, the new station experienced the same changes that occurred in the old. It evolved into a club, and another lifesaving station was founded. History continued to repeat itself, and if you visit that coast today, you’ll find a number of exclusive clubs along the shore. Shipwrecks are still frequent, but most of the people drown.

Is the church today committed to saving people … or not?

Different Gospels Today

Paul begins his letter to the Galatians by asserting his astonishment that they have turned to a different gospel. Yet, If Paul would have had the perspective of us who live two millennia later, he might not have been quite so astonished.

In the Fall of 2012, Harvard Divinity School professor Karen King held a press conference in which she said she found a piece of papyri, written in Coptic and likely from around the 300’s AD, that contains a saying of Jesus that refers to “my wife,” and says that she can be “my disciple.” Scholars already have documentation of a sect of Christianity that refers to the wife of Jesus that date back to the 100’s AD. People call this little fragment the Gospel of Jesus’ Wife. Scholars have discovered the Gospel of Judas, Thomas, and Mary Magdalene.

A “different gospel” was already gaining steam.

I wonder, however, if we are willing to face the reality of “another gospel” in our time.

If you were to develop a list of gospels for our time, what would be on the list?

Would the Gospel of Hate spewed out by Westboro Baptist Church make the list?

Would the Gospel of Prosperity or Health and Wealth make the list? Jesus cautioned us about the dangers of wealth.

Dallas Willard coined the phrase “The Gospel of Sin Management” to describe a gospel whose concern is to get people into heaven and has little concern for life here and now, making salvation irrelevant to life now.

The Social Gospel might make the list. It arose out of an evangelical spirit that wanted to align this world closer to the will of God, but it also relied on a notion of human progress that was unrealistic and focused on what human beings can do.

The Gospel of Positive or Possibility Thinking might make the list. While full of helpful advice, it seems to have little room for the cross.

The Apocalyptic Gospel might make the list in that it encourages people to watch in the sky for the returning Christ while again leading people to disregard this world.

The Fundamentalist Gospel would seek to freeze some moment of Christianity in the past as somehow the standard for all ages. The problem here is that churches always need openness to the fresh winds of the Spirit.

The Progressive Gospel would seek to move the churches past Christ and into some new age of nirvana of “progressive” ethics and politics, making it clear that the Bible and Jesus have become irrelevant to perceived political needs and ideologies of our time.    

            It seems our time is full of gospels that reflect the culture rather than reflect Jesus.

You can probably think of other "gospels" that get preached all the time. Of course, there may be elements of truth in some of these "gospels." That means we need some prayerful and open reflection on the truth that may seem to us, because of our own perspective, quite deeply buried in it. In fact, that is the challenge for each of us. People within the church tend to understand the gospel through the lens of their time. Such a lens leads to incomplete or distorted versions of the message of the church. This means churches need to regularly recalibrate their understanding of the gospel. Paul had himself done this when he clarified his mission, in contrast to that of Peter and the Jerusalem church, to bring the gospel to gentiles. Properly read, church history is full such recalibrations, whether with Augustine, Aquinas, Luther, John Wesley, Karl Barth, or Mother Teresa.

Paul suggests the genuine gospel is not of human construction. It comes from God in 1:1, 3-4, and 6.

Paul suggests the focus of this gospel is grace shown in the death of Jesus that brings liberation from the sin of this age in 1:3-4.

The true gospel enables us to become children of God in 1:3.

The true focuses on transforming the world, which Paul identifies as being a new creation in 6:15.

Come to think of it, the true gospel is not so much about our leaving as God coming, in Christ, to redeem us, to save (liberate, heal, make whole, and guide) us.     

Maybe we keep coming up with new gospels because the one Jesus gave us actually requires something of us. We lay aside what we want, and focus our thoughts and behavior on Christ. We have lay aside pleasing the groups with which we tend to identify. We stand with Christ, which means that our devotion to a particular ideology, which in our time is likely devotion to a political ideology, is something we need to have the courage to set aside. Such a turn from the thoughts, ideologies, and agendas that appeal to us and toward identifying ourselves with Christ sounds like genuine discipleship. It sounds like being a disciple of Christ in a way that transforms this world.

Party Politics and Issues

The recent naval-gazing within the Republican Party has allowed an interesting study by the The Hill to emerge. It shows the problem that both political parties are having.

Respondents in The Hill Poll were asked to choose which of two approaches they would prefer on the budget, but the question’s phrasing included no cues as to which party advocated for which option.
Presented in that way, 55 percent of likely voters opted for a plan that would slash $5 trillion in government spending, provide for no additional tax revenue and balance the budget within 10 years — in essence, the path recommended by House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) last week.
This was almost twice as many voters as opted for a proposal that would include $1 trillion in added tax revenue as well as $100 billion in infrastructure spending, and which would reduce the deficit without eradicating it.
Only 28 percent of voters preferred this option, which reflects the proposal put forth by Senate Budget Committee Chairwoman Patty Murray (D-Wash.) last week.

So, Paul Ryan for the win? The answer is no. The same poll found that once voters were told which party supported which idea, the voters pulled the old switcheroo and backed the Democrats.

A plurality of voters, 35 percent, said they trust the Democrats more on budgetary issues, while 30 percent said they trust the Republicans more. A full 34 percent said they trust neither party.

To state the obvious, this is a real problem for Republicans. The people tend to agree with Republicans on the issues, but dislike them as a Party. That will make it hard to get elected. However, Democrats have the issue that once in power, they are promoting policies that the people  do not want. Granted, the poll was the narrow issue of the budget. I am not sure that you could extend it to other issues. Such a poll would also be interesting.

What this does suggest is that if Republicans are in step with a majority of the American people on the issues, they will need to figure out a way to surmount a rather large problem. The Democrat Party has successfully united with large portions of the Education establishment in universities, a large portion of media (ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, New York Times and many other major city papers), unions, the multi-cultural agenda, progressive religion, and so on, to convince people to look at the Republican Party in a certain way. As I have personally experienced it, the attempt to convince people that the party that stands for individual freedom and limits on the federal government is immoral and therefore worthy of disgust, has been quite successful. What this means is that much work needs to be done by Republicans to go over the heads of the leaders of these groups and find ways of appealing directly to  the individual. The technology we have today makes this possible, but it will not be easy.

Reduce Federal Spending

I am interested in ways to actually reduce federal spending. Here are some suggestions. What do you think?

Here is a suggestion from Chris Edwards. He thinks that a better way to create lasting savings is to restructure entitlements and cut promised benefits. The 1983 law that increased the Social Security retirement age, for example, created ongoing savings that haven’t been reversed. Paul Ryan’s proposed shift to a more consumer-based Medicare and the block-granting of Medicaid would also generate large and long-lasting savings if passed.
Another good way to generate lasting budget savings is to terminate entire programs and agencies. Unfortunately, Republicans have not pursued such reforms in years.
Yet there are many large programs that are wasteful, inefficient, or would be better handled by state governments. Some good prospects for termination — with the rough annual savings — are farm subsidies ($22 billion), energy subsidies ($17 billion), public housing ($7 billion), community development ($14 billion), and K-12 education programs ($56 billion). That’s $116 billion in annual savings right there, or well over $1 trillion during the coming decade.
Other federal activities should be privatized, including the Postal Service, air traffic control, and Amtrak. Privatization would not only create budget savings, it would also boost the economy as the productivity of these services increased.
Such reforms may sound radical to U.S. policymakers, but they have been implemented successfully in numerous other countries. For example, New Zealand ended its farm subsidies, Germany privatized its post office, and Canada privatized its air traffic control.