I am thinking about prom, high
school graduation, and confirmation today. I am especially thinking of their
cost.
I attended Austin High School in
Austin, MN.
Here is my graduation picture.
Here is the school fight song:
Fight, Fight, Fight for Old Austin
High
We're gonna win this victory
Win, Win, Win for Old Austin High
Winners we'll always be
Rah, Rah, Rah!
Go, Go, Go for Scarlet and White
Our colors stand for might
Waving to those courageous and bold
so, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!
A...U...S...TIN!
If you look at a map, you will see
Albert Lea just a few miles away, and it was our main Big Nine conference
rivals. I tried out for a football once, and lasted one practice. For some
reason, I did not try out for baseball, but thoroughly enjoyed the summer
leagues. In any case, involvement in school activities was not a strength of
mine. My involvement in the Young Democrats led me to participate in a march
against the Vietnam War. I gave a brief talk against our involvement at a
meeting in the basement of a church, I think.
I received Cs and Bs until grade 9,
and finally got an A in Algebra, the last good math grade I received. Grades 11
and 12 were As and Bs. I graduated `122 out of 557 with a 2.8 average. My IQ
tested 102 in grade 9.
In some ways, such thoughts are
difficult for me. I think I went to a High School dance, but I do not remember
it well. I think I worked up the courage to ask a girl to dance, but I have a
fuzzy memory of it all. I do not recall going to the prom. I vaguely remember
wanting to go, but too afraid to show up alone. Not many dates for me.
I wish I could say that I was
passionate about something, but I am not sure I can. I kept wondering what I would
do with my life.
For many youth, today, however,
prom can be expensive. Slinky dress from Nordstrom: $250. Rented tuxedo with
shoes: $150. Stretch limousine for 18: $250 per hour, four-hour minimum. A
perfect night at the prom: Priceless.
Right. Of course, do not forget the
flowers, the jewelry, the manicure, the pedicure, the tanning salon, the hair
do, the professional photographs, the pre-prom dinner, the post-prom party and
the actual tickets to get into the dance.
For youth in Junior High, they can
look ahead and see that they should start saving for the big day. I am not sure
what the average cost of the prom is today, but a few years ago, it was $1000
per person in some areas of the country.
Even if you do not go to the prom,
a night with friends can be expensive. Meeting the gang for pizza and a movie
with popcorn and drinks this Saturday night might set you back $50. Real dating
involves some serious coin.
Like the prom, high school dating
remains a rite of passage for teenagers, but it comes with a cost. Teenagers
spend more than $100 billion each year on everything from hamburgers and DVD
rentals on an average weekend, to hairdressers and Humvee rentals for prom
weekend. Traditional allowances do not begin to cover the costs. Mom and Dad
usually pick up the tab.
Yet, this same general period, the
1960s, was also a time that I became involved in a church. Its Sunday school
and youth group were important to me. It was I learned about the Bible. It was
where I saw Christian parents and adults. I saw something there that I knew I
needed in my life. I did not see much Christianity at home, but mom did the
best she could in that area. Although we did not have confirmation, I was
slowly learning what it meant to be Christian.
It may well be that our confirmands
today, now in junior high, are watching the older kids fork out the big bucks.
Prom weekend. Road trips. Pizza parties. However, they already know something
about this. They have been preparing for months now for their own
once-in-a-lifetime, what-we've-all-been-waiting-for experience. We told you it
would not be cheap.
I came to a place where going to
church in my youth was not something mom made me do. True, that is the way it
was in the beginning. It did not take long, however, when relating to other
youth at church and to the adults teaching us became important. I wanted to be
there. It meant rising early on Sunday morning. It might being present at youth
group Sunday evening, when sometimes I would have liked to rest, watch
television (yes, we had television then), or be with some friends.
However, we did not have an
experience called “confirmation.”
For some United Methodist youth,
since the day of their baptisms - their parents brought them forward as an
infant wearing the family christening gown or whether they stood at the font on
their own two feet, or the preacher dunked them in the baptistery, swimming
pool, lake or river - this is the moment they have been waiting for:
confirmation.
Okay, so their parents made them go
to confirmation class. Good for them. That only means they already know about
self-denial. They wanted to stay home and veg out in front of the TV, but had
to go to confirmation class instead.
Their friends spent the lunch
period talking about smack-down wrestling on TV, but they missed it because
they were out feeding the homeless with your church?
They missed a Saturday night party
because they were on a retreat with the youth group.
They wear their "My-parents-made-me-do-it" badge
with honor.
However, along the way, something
has happened. They have learned that the things that are important, whether
prom, hanging out with friends, parties, or even confirmation, usually have a
price tag.
I recall some of my classmates
enjoying High School fully. They also learned to give themselves fully to
something, whether in sports or in academics. They were very good at it. That
was another type of cost. They stayed after school, practiced, and worked out.
It took me until my third year in college that it would require some sacrifice,
some giving of myself to something I valued, before such costs were part of my
life. In fact, one of the things I learned, and must continue to learn, is that
nothing worthwhile in life is free. A happy life, a joyful life, comes with a
cost. You have come to a point of giving yourself fully.
I think that is something of what
Jesus meant when he said,
"If any want to become
my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.
35 For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their
life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it. 36 For what
will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life? 37 Indeed,
what can they give in return for their life? (Mark 8:34-37)
Too many of
us think confirmation is just another rite of passage, a photo op, something to
make the grandparents happy, a great reason for a party. It is part of growing
up when you are a Christian. Here is the problem for our youth. To Jesus, being
grown up apparently means denying yourself, taking up your cross, and following
him.
Dare I say
this? I am still learning what that means.
What we try to teach in
confirmation is that, as valuable as so many things are in this life, the most important
thing is to be right with Jesus.
Does this mean you can never spring
for a manicure or diamond stud cuff links? Does this mean you cannot follow the
latest trends? Such things are compatible with following Christ. However, being
a disciple of Christ means than you at least raise the question. We learn that
God is not impressed with people who gain the wealth, popularity, power, and
influence in the world, while forfeiting what is essential who you are. He
called it soul. Do not sacrifice that to the whims of this world.
If confirmation class has taught us
nothing but this, it is worth it: What we are inside is more important than who
we are on the outside. The riches of the soul are worth more than the wealth of
the world. When we learn that, we have learned all there is to know.
Unfortunately, we adults have often
failed to provide an example of the genuine costs involved in being a disciple
of Jesus Christ, one that bears the cross and denies the self. Children without
good role models are at a serious disadvantage. I have seen far too many youth
in the church go off to college and turn their backs on their faith. Part of
the reason, I think, is that they need to see it operate in the lives of people
around them.
What happens after confirmation makes all the
difference. Whether adults or adolescents, we must resist the temptation to
simply follow the expectations of others and opt instead to live up to the
expectations of Jesus the Christ. There is probably no such thing as a free
lunch, and Jesus says there is no such thing as a free life. Life costs,
especially when it is a life lived with integrity.
