Favorite Crime Shows

Crime related shows have been popular for a long time. Something about this type of show has long attracted me. A good one for me usually invites me to put on my detective hat and see if I can figure out who did it.  

Sherlock is a good one. We enjoyed Criminal Minds and Numb3rs. We have not watched NCIS and CSI very much, but I have received many recommendations to try them.

Currently in its twelfth and final season, Bones is a top-30 TV. Over the years, it has helped keep Fox Broadcasting in the ratings conversation, along with American Idol and the NFL.

Bones differentiates itself from the cop crowd with its intelligent emphasis on forensic anthropology and archaeology. Dr. Temperance “Bones” Brennan, as attractive as she is brilliant, teams with hunky FBI special agent Seeley Booth to turn skeletal remains into murder-scene narratives. Bones is a logical empiricist, meaning she thinks there is a rational answer to everything in life. That is her charm in the show, making her character a forensically brilliant, not particularly faith-friendly and a bit socially awkward. If someone makes any kind of pop-culture reference, she interrupts the conversational flow with her signature line, “I don’t know what that means.”

Although she might not have a clue about slang, metaphors or movie quotes, Bones gets bones. Missing metacarpals point out a crime of marital passion. Half a rib cage is evidence of a tiger attack. A burned skeleton logically reveals the motives of eco-terrorists. We are talking a crazy, weird understanding of bones. However, some bones might stump even Bones.

In case you were wondering: There are 206 bones in the human body. They fall into four general categories: long bones, short bones, flat bones and irregular bones.

Imagine this potential opening scene.

An expansive valley is knee-deep with bones. Loads of human skeletons are mixed with one another, all of them wind-blown and brittle. Bones stands amid the bones, confused. There is no obvious rational explanation. How did they get here? What caused these deaths? Suddenly, the bones begin to tremble around her. Rattling and jostling, they begin to merge. They take on natural, human connections to one another. Bone piles become skeletons. “I don’t know what that means,” Bones utters. 

Well, Dr. Brennan, most of us agree with you entirely. That scene is weird. Irrational. No natural explanation. Moreover, it is the vision God gives Ezekiel in Ezekiel 37:1-14. Explaining the meaning of this vision for Israel can inform a theological narrative for the Christian life, as well.

Third Culture Kids

When we become old enough that another generation is behind us, we become aware of the significance of cultural change, even if we do not have that phrase in our minds. The generation behind us will not be aware of events that shaped us. Baby boomers and up could ask where they were when someone shot JFK. It became rather sobering when you ask someone that question who was too young to know.

"There's no place like home!" This phrase is an American idiom that means that home is the most satisfying place to be. It comes from the song, "Home! Sweet Home!" that has been around for about 180 years. The first two lines read:  

Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,

Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home. 

Apparently, those ten words touched a very profound need people have for safety, peace and companionship, because the phrase immediately entered the American idiomatic lexicon. There's no place like home!

What do you call home? A common question at parties is the simple question, “Where are you from?” In a world that is increasingly mobile and increasingly global, however, it has become a complex question. 

According to a Pew Research study, six in 10 Americans have moved to a new community at least once in their lives, and the definition of where one's "home" is has become more fluid. For example, 38 percent of Americans do not consider the place they are now living to be "home." Some consider "home" to be where they were born and raised. Others say it is where they lived the longest, where their family comes from or where they went to high school.

Moreover, if there is domestic confusion about "home," it is even more apparent in the highly globalized world where international travel and living abroad is now quite common. Previous generations tended to stay put unless someone was in the military, the foreign service or on the mission field. Emerging generations in the United States are now increasingly more likely to spend at least part of their lives living in a completely different culture in another country due to parent moves, study abroad programs or a myriad of other reasons linked to the emerging global economy.

Sociologist and anthropologist Ruth Useem calls these young nomads.

 "Third Culture Kids" (TCK) are people who have spent a significant part of their developmental years outside the culture of the parents. They build relationships to both cultures while not feeling fully at home in either. The sense of belonging has fulfillment in relationships with others of similar background. The first culture is that of the parents, the second culture is the culture in which the child lives now, and the third culture is the new culture in which they live. Such third culture kids must pause a moment when asked, “Where are you from?”

TCKs do life a little differently.

Minnesota Timberwolves rookie Alexey Shved is getting a ton of help in his transition to the NBA from fellow Russian player Andrei Kirilenko. Kirilenko has been in the league for 10 years, and he is acting as a mentor to Shved as he moves from Moscow to Minneapolis, especially when it comes to off-the-court issues. Here is what Kirilenko said about the "little things" in an interview with the Minneapolis Star-Tribune: "In Russia, if the police stop you, you can give him five dollars and say, 'I'm sorry' and keep going. Here you cannot do that. So, the little things, it's different."

Here are some of the signs that you might be one:  

- Your accent changes depending on who is with you.

- You are good at calculating time differences because you have to do it every time you call your parents.

- You spend a crazy amount of time in airports and on airplanes.

- Your passport looks like it has been through hell and back.

- Your circle of friends is as racially and ethnically diverse as the UN.

- You can curse convincingly in five different languages.

- You do not call it "home," you call it your "passport country."  

TCKs thus tend to gravitate toward those who are like them, regardless of their nationality, than those in their "passport country." That is why you can say they live in a culture that is all their own.

According to dictionary.com , Culture shock is "a state of bewilderment and distress experienced by an individual who is suddenly exposed to a new, strange or foreign social and cultural environment."

Wikipedia offers this description: Culture shock is the personal disorientation a person may feel when experiencing an unfamiliar way of life due to immigration or a visit to a new country, a move between social environments, or simply travel to another type of life. One of the most common causes of culture shock involves individuals in a foreign environment. Culture shock may consist of at least one of four distinct phases: Honeymoon, Negotiation, Adjustment and Mastery. Other problems may be information overload, language barrier, generation gap, technology gap, skill interdependence, formulation dependency, homesickness (cultural), infinite regress (homesickness), boredom (job dependency), response ability (cultural skill set). There is no true way to prevent culture shock entirely, as cultural contrasts affect individuals in any society differently.

Cultures are not static. We can still think of culture, but it has a history and therefore it changes. For that reason, the culture in which we grow up may not feel like home. In fact, it may almost feel like a foreign country. No wonder nostalgia hits us. We long for what feels like “home.”

Yes to Negative Preaching

The advice that most preachers get is not to go negative in their preaching. Certainly, in the United Methodist Church, most of us do not like to be negative in our preaching. Many of us have heard hurtful things said from the pulpit. Some of the hurt was intentional, but most probably was not. With almost every “No” we can think of exceptions. We will likely think of ways we have transgressed in our lives.

Yet, if we pause for a bit, “No” is an important word in many settings.

I invite you to reflect for a moment about the many contexts in our lives when we appreciate negativity.

Parents are frequently negative. They protect them by telling them not to cross a busy street, touch a hot stove, talk to strangers, and even not to ride a bike without a helmet.

The office is negative. You are not to post offensive posters, make sexual advances, use inappropriate language, offer or receive bribes, and so on.

Schools have rules like not running in the hallway, no bullying, no religious proselytizing, no prayers, no plagiarizing, and so on.

If you work for any level of government, you probably have a long list of do and do not.

Sports are among the most negative. The rules of golf defy explanation. The NFL rulebook is negative.

Yet, in the church, everything is to be sweetness and light. In particular, the preacher is to be positive. For me to come clean here, I am among those preachers who do not like to go negative. You see, my thought has been that most of us throughout the week have probably had enough negative to face throughout the week. I would rather lift people up with faith, hope, and love. I still think such themes out to be our focus as preachers.

Yet, the Bible has many places where it says “No” to the old life in order to embrace the new life of the people of God. For example, Paul was not shy about saying no to sexual promiscuity, impurity, obscenities, greed, and darkness. Such a “No” may seem harsh. Yet, I invite you to reflect upon the “No” Paul offers, especially when he considers the old way of life or offers a list of vices or works of the flesh. Do such negatives apply to today? Although Paul ranges wide in the negatives, many of them have to do with sexuality. Among the quite real issues sexually today is the availability of pornography. Such availability is harming marriages, dating, and pastors.

If we take our Bibles seriously, we cannot avoid negative preaching. The Bible does say “No,” and we as preachers need to share it with our congregations. You see, such negativity may save a life, a family, a marriage, or the calling of a pastor.[1]

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[1]  --For more about pastors and porn, see: Morgan Lee, "Here's how 770 pastors describe their struggle with porn," christianitytoday.com, January 26, 2016. Retrieved October 22, 2016.

 

10 Types of Toxic People to Avoid

It does not take long in life before most of us realize that hanging around certain people tends to bring us down. We learn the difference between those who inspire us to be better people and those who bring out the worst in us. We slowly realize that this means certain types of people get us in a bad place. Life is too short to stay in relationships like that. I have noticed this trait expanding with Twitter and Facebook. People freely post divisive and hateful things they would never say in person. Sadly, some people are getting that way. They are just as rude in person as they are online. Unless we develop certain internal strengths, we may have to distance ourselves from them as much as we can. We can unfriend and unfollow if the issue is online. Such distancing is more difficult if we are thinking of family, co-workers and neighbors. It would be nice if such people came with a warning label. I came across an article that listed ten toxic types of people to avoid. Such persons have toxic arrogance, victimhood, control, envy, lies, negativity, greed, judgmentalism, gossip, and lack of character. They suggest that if you have such persons in your life, do wait until tomorrow to clear your life of them. If you cannot do that physically, stay as distant and guarded as you can.[1] Considering those with whom you hang out and their effect upon your life is one of the many traits of wisdom.

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[1] --Lolly Daskal, "10 toxic people you should avoid like the plague," inc.com. October 20, 2014. Retrieved October 11, 2016.

 

Are Men Immature?

Seen recently on a T-shirt worn by a middle-aged man: "I am cleverly disguised as a grown up."

At one level, I envy that sentiment. I was the oldest of five children in a home with an alcoholic father. We did not have it as bad as I hear from many people, but one of the effects was that I acted grown-up for as long as I can remember. I do not remember having the carefree spirit that such a T-shirt suggests.

I want to introduce a study of gender relationships in the UK. It suggests that men do not grow up until 43, while women do so by 32. The typical woman believes men do not stop being childish. Given the types of things men consider funny may suggest they are right. Personally, I recall other guys finding flatulence, burping, and sounds with the arm pit funny. I found myself embarrassed. Boys like to eat fast food until late at night, video games, and retelling old jokes with their buddies. Most women know what it is like to tell the man in their life to act his age. Men are even likely to evaluate themselves as immature! At least, they are honest.[1]

If I could, I would offer a high-five to the American men hearing this, for I am sure we are much more mature than the Brits.

I did a little google search with the phrase “men are immature.” 77 million hits! Women do not want to admit their age, while men do not want to act their age. As long as you know that men are like children, you know everything.

On the positive side, though, such immaturity on the part of men can help them bond with children. One saying is that “immature” is the word boring people use to describe people who are having fun. In this whole matter of maturity, a side of me wants to remind us that childlikeness in the sense of playfulness is a good quality to maintain. It can help to keep relationships be fresh and fun. I suppose I am most like that with Suzanne when I am in a setting where a song is playing to which we used to dance. Yes, I will even pretend to sing and dance. I like it when I come across a good joke and share it. I wish I could remember them.

 

Yet, we also need to admit that another type of immaturity can be at work. Childish usually refers to selfishness. We are thinking of what we want. We do not care what others want. We especially resist the limits of those in authority. If we remain immature throughout our lives and most of the time, we become a liability rather than an asset.

If we think of the realm of spiritual formation, we want to head toward maturity in the sense of moving from our natural self-centeredness to a focus on genuine care for others. Paul referred to a contrast between the spiritual who can handle solid food and the infant who needs just milk (I Corinthians 3:1-2).

 

Maybe we need to look at the Garden of Eden as a story of what it means to grow up. It presents us with the dilemma contained in growing up.

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[1]  "Men grow up at 43 -- 11 years later than women." The Telegraph, June 10, 2013, telegraph.co.uk.

Is Failure an Option?

I have an admission to make regarding education. I am among those who have a concern that our society is already reaping the results of an education that concerns itself too much with self-esteem. I am not knowledgeable enough to go into the matter extensively here. I want to focus upon a recent bit information that has come my way.[1]

In some school districts across the country, grades of zero are outdated. No more ZEROS! There is a movement afoot in some educational systems that is designed to keep students from feeling the pain of a ZERO. These school districts are creating a grading scale in which failure is not an option. For example, Virginia's Fairfax County Public Schools, middle and high school students can earn a score no lower than 50. Across the Potomac River in Maryland, Prince George's County will limit failing grades to a 50 percent minimum score. All the students have to do is show a "good-faith effort." The result, apparently, is that failure is not an option.

 My concern is the reason offered for this change in grading. Some educators believe such a grading system is more conducive to learning. Thus, getting a score of 50 percent instead of 0 can encourage students to catch up when they fall behind. The zero would encourage students to give up. This result could lead a student down the path of dropping out.

Other educators, however, point out failing needs to be an option. Giving a failing grade can teach the student diligence, prepare them for college, and even prepare them for the real world. Giving nothing lower than 50 percent can mask genuine failure in the classroom. It can also advance students who have not mastered the material, which is the point of the grading system. If we assume that they need to master the material in order to succeed in life, they will never know that they have failed in certain basics.

You have likely seen books in the business world that refer to the importance of failure. We are to “fail forward.” The assumption is that we will fail. Do we succeed all the time? Of course not, but if failure is not an option, the implication is that we succeed all the time. We do not. If we are not failing, we are probably not being creative or taking enough risks. The issue is what we do with failure. One business saying suggests that failure is not only an option, but also a requirement. The point is, failure is an option in life and work. It seems as if it needs to be an option in school.

In fact, studies have shown that people become more careful when they sense greater risk, and less careful when they feel more protected. Students of human behavior call this behavior "risk compensation." For example, motorists drive faster when wearing seatbelts. They drive closer to the vehicle in front of them when they have anti-lock brakes. In the sport of skydiving, equipment has become steadily more reliable but the fatality rate has remained constant, since skydivers are now engaging in riskier behavior. The conclusion from such behavior is simple. People make better choices when failure is an option.

Yet, I am not just concerned about education. You see, spiritual failure is serious business because it involves your life. We discover in Genesis 2 and 3 that even if human beings are in an ideal situation, they will chose wrongly. They will fail to live the way God wanted them to live. They will not fulfill the purpose God had for them. Of course, the issue is what we do with such failures.

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[1] Balingit, Moriah and Donna St. George. "Is it becoming too hard for students to fail in school?" The Washington Post, July 6, 2016, A1, washingtonpost.com.