Are Men Immature?

Seen recently on a T-shirt worn by a middle-aged man: "I am cleverly disguised as a grown up."

At one level, I envy that sentiment. I was the oldest of five children in a home with an alcoholic father. We did not have it as bad as I hear from many people, but one of the effects was that I acted grown-up for as long as I can remember. I do not remember having the carefree spirit that such a T-shirt suggests.

I want to introduce a study of gender relationships in the UK. It suggests that men do not grow up until 43, while women do so by 32. The typical woman believes men do not stop being childish. Given the types of things men consider funny may suggest they are right. Personally, I recall other guys finding flatulence, burping, and sounds with the arm pit funny. I found myself embarrassed. Boys like to eat fast food until late at night, video games, and retelling old jokes with their buddies. Most women know what it is like to tell the man in their life to act his age. Men are even likely to evaluate themselves as immature! At least, they are honest.[1]

If I could, I would offer a high-five to the American men hearing this, for I am sure we are much more mature than the Brits.

I did a little google search with the phrase “men are immature.” 77 million hits! Women do not want to admit their age, while men do not want to act their age. As long as you know that men are like children, you know everything.

On the positive side, though, such immaturity on the part of men can help them bond with children. One saying is that “immature” is the word boring people use to describe people who are having fun. In this whole matter of maturity, a side of me wants to remind us that childlikeness in the sense of playfulness is a good quality to maintain. It can help to keep relationships be fresh and fun. I suppose I am most like that with Suzanne when I am in a setting where a song is playing to which we used to dance. Yes, I will even pretend to sing and dance. I like it when I come across a good joke and share it. I wish I could remember them.

 

Yet, we also need to admit that another type of immaturity can be at work. Childish usually refers to selfishness. We are thinking of what we want. We do not care what others want. We especially resist the limits of those in authority. If we remain immature throughout our lives and most of the time, we become a liability rather than an asset.

If we think of the realm of spiritual formation, we want to head toward maturity in the sense of moving from our natural self-centeredness to a focus on genuine care for others. Paul referred to a contrast between the spiritual who can handle solid food and the infant who needs just milk (I Corinthians 3:1-2).

 

Maybe we need to look at the Garden of Eden as a story of what it means to grow up. It presents us with the dilemma contained in growing up.

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[1]  "Men grow up at 43 -- 11 years later than women." The Telegraph, June 10, 2013, telegraph.co.uk.