Prayer on the Temptation of Self-Pity

                Read I Kings 19:9-15

⁹ At that place he came to a cave, and spent the night there.
Then the word of the Lord came to him, saying, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” ¹⁰ He answered, “I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are seeking my life, to take it away.”
¹¹ He said, “Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; ¹² and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. Then there came a voice to him that said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” ¹⁴ He answered, “I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are seeking my life, to take it away.” ¹⁵ Then the Lord said to him, “Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus; when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael as king over Aram. 

               Do something to stop me, Lord, if any time today I come close enough to the web of self-pity so that there begins to be a danger I will be stuck in it.  Blow a whistle, hold up a hand, shout a warning, do whatever it takes to stop me.

                I think I understand its seductive power.  I think I understand that when I am feeling sorry for myself, I am usually holding others responsible for the situation in which I find myself.  As long as I can blame them, I spare myself the pain of blaming myself.  As long as I can persuade myself that they, or fate, have put me in the hole in which I find myself, I do not have to accept responsibility. Then it is not so hard to persuade myself that it is up to them, not up to me, to lift me out.

                I also understand that self-pity does not really warm and soothe; it chills and chafes.  It cripples my usefulness, it shrivels my soul, and it chases away my job.  The deeper I bring myself into its depths, the closer to drowning I come.

                Because I know what an insidious enemy self-pity can be, I pray for the strength to drive it away. 

¨   Teach me no promise has been broken, any entitlement denied, when life does not fall into shape according to my dreams.

¨   Teach me what you have promised: that no set of circumstances will ever come to me that will not contain the ingredients necessary for growing a soul (Romans 8:28).  Even when I stand in the rubble of a broken dream, the chance to face my life as a person of faith and courage and goodwill will still be open to me.

¨   Teach me that since you look upon me with compassion, with pity, there is no need to pity myself.  If you are for me who can be against me? (Romans 8:31)

 

Amen.